vinceconaway | (no subject)

I'm reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (thanks much_ado), and I feel like I've come to the book a little later than I might have. Over the past year I've already made huge progress towards the destination she advocates, in accepting and embracing myself. Still, I might not have been ready to acknowledge her points earlier, and I'm gleefully appropriating some of her methods and terminology ("shame" instead of "pride", for example*, recognizing the underlying cause vs the surface symptom).

I was visiting friends in March when I stumbled into the restroom, rather tipsy, and greeted my reflection "hello, love". I was immediately filled with embarrassment, labeling myself Narcissist and worse. As much as I've tried to reclaim such labels through ownership ("I'm crazy" is my standard introduction to new people), they still carry a sting. It wasn't for a few weeks that I came to see this in a new light: I love Vince and he is worthy of that love. I now routinely tell my reflection that I love him, a far cry from my teenaged habit of spitting at mirrors.

I've still got miles to go, but I'm profoundly grateful to feel myself to be at least on the path.

*I'm not too proud to ask directions, I'm ashamed to need them