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Showing vulnerability comes hard for me

Part of it is that I assume I'm an open book, that everyone already knows what I'm thinking and feeling. Another part is pride, which I've mentioned before: I'm terrified of looking foolish in my attachment. Together they make a formidable team.

I think of myself as a cryer, but my ex-wife watched me weep as we put our cat to sleep and said it was the only time she'd seen me cry. She certainly didn't see it at our separation or divorce, when my walls were at full strength.

In general it takes me about a year to talk about anything personal. Once the time has passed I'll share with anyone who asks, but until I wrap my head around things they stay in the vault. And don't get me started on my problems with intimacy.

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