Emerging from the darkness
Jul. 1st, 2019 08:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vinceconawayLooking back over previous entries it seems that my most common introduction is, “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted…“ It’s interesting how much of my time and attention is taken by microblogging on Facebook and Twitter, leaving me little attention left for longform writing. Also, of course, longer forms involve a lot more vulnerability, which can be kind of scary.
I was rereading a post from a year ago and now I have a clearer idea of how my depressive episodes present; “I always wondered how my midlife crisis would manifest and now I think I know; life has become more about satisfaction than joy.” I didn’t recognize it as depression at the time, it was so subtle and persistent that I took it simply to be the new normal. Imagine my surprise when joy came surging back early this spring.
There had been a few early signs, things going unexpectedly well last fall and then glimmers over the winter. It wasn’t until March, however, that I realized how long I had been depressed as it very suddenly lifted. It was a bit of a shock, frankly, and not always a welcome one as I was suddenly subject to so many feelings. Ultimately, I’m very thankful to be where I am and doing what I’m doing, and glad I made it through.
I was rereading a post from a year ago and now I have a clearer idea of how my depressive episodes present; “I always wondered how my midlife crisis would manifest and now I think I know; life has become more about satisfaction than joy.” I didn’t recognize it as depression at the time, it was so subtle and persistent that I took it simply to be the new normal. Imagine my surprise when joy came surging back early this spring.
There had been a few early signs, things going unexpectedly well last fall and then glimmers over the winter. It wasn’t until March, however, that I realized how long I had been depressed as it very suddenly lifted. It was a bit of a shock, frankly, and not always a welcome one as I was suddenly subject to so many feelings. Ultimately, I’m very thankful to be where I am and doing what I’m doing, and glad I made it through.
