Outing the demons within

[vinceconaway]

I have a standard test to see whether I'm in an argument on the merits or because I'm feeling cranky: I imagine my mother, and if we have a pleasant exchange in my head then I am justified in whatever I'm doing. More often, however, my crankiness reveals itself by getting into a second, imaginary, argument, at which point I apologize and move on.

It took over 30 years to come up with that system, and another half-dozen to apply it more generally. If I'm worried over a specific issue, money for instance, I broaden the debate and if I start panicking over a potential zombie apocalypse then I know I'm having an anxiety attack. And when I want to make a drastic change to my personal life, if at any point I think, "I wish I were dead" then I'm battling depression.

Once I've named my problem I can deal with it, but until then I don't know what is real and what is the whispering demon.

Comments

[vconaway.livejournal.com]

The worst part is being able to acknowledge how incredibly awesome my life is, and how well everything is going, while still flailing emotionally.